GIMME FIVE: People Who Are Definitely NOT On Obama’s Veep List

As the nation eagerly anticipates the announcement of Barack Obama’s running mate, Blindie has compiled a list of people who definitely won’t be making the cut as the nation’s potential next Vice-President:

1. Rev. Jesse Jackson, who says he had the burning desire to cut Obama’s “nuts off.”

2. John Edwards, who is busy with a cancer-stricken wife, a mistress, a baby he denies fathering, and dodging the National Enquire.

3. Country singer Toby Keith, who thinks Obama “don’t talk, act, or carry himself as a black person.”

4. Rev. Jeremiah Wright whose fiery sermon is a pesky reminder of America’s shameful history.

5. Ex-Senator Larry Craig whose “inappropriate” behavior in a Minneapolis airport bathroom prompted his resignation. He insisted, “I am not gay and never have been.”