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The Real Housewives of Atlanta reunite at the Biltmore hotel in downtown Atlanta to rehash the drama that went down during seven glorious episodes of back-stabbing, conspicuous spending, fundraising and trash-talking.
Here are Blindie’s highlights from the “Reunion” episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta:
New Looks: Nene Leakes had a cute, short haircut and boasted about her “new look” and “new attitude,” while Sheree took the weave route with a long ponytail and bangs. Kim Zolciak, on the other hand, did not have a make-over but Dwight Eubanks promised to work on her and bring her up to the 21st century.
Truth Or Fiction: Kim stood firm by her age of 29, oh excuse me she’s 30 now, and she also claimed to wear a wig because she thought she had cancer and had been losing her hair and lost 25 lbs. After prodding from host Andy Cohen, she finally admitted she never had cancer.
Team Nene: Yes, we are on Nene’s team! So is CNN’s Anderson Cooper! And apparently Andy Cohen is as well because he totally gave her way more air time than the other ladies -love it! “Fun, exciting, BAM,” that’s Nene!
Rumours: Nene puts those pesky stripper rumours to rest, or does she? When Andy asks if she is an ex-stripper Nene replies, “I’m still a stripper…I am a stripper…I strip for my husband.” BAM!
Kim’s Country Music Career: Nene thinks Kim can’t sing, Lisa Wu Hartwell says she’s pathetic and has no talent, but nevertheless Kim says her album is coming out in early January and her new single is called “Tightrope.” We can’t wait to hear it…oh wait, yes we can.
The Notorious Big Papa: Kim says she is “on and off again” with her sugar daddy Big Papa and claims he is filing for a divorce, while Nene says he is very much married and that Kim should “close [her] legs to married men!” BAM!
Cat Fight: Nene and Kim curse up a storm as they argue and Lisa Wu Hartwell has to hold Nene back, even going so far as to lay her tiny body across Nene to block an altercation. Nene of course gets the last words in calling Kim a “trashy hooker,” threatening to snatch her wig off and saying “I’ll see you outside!” BAM!
Another World: DeShawn Snow does not understand why everyone makes a big deal about her no-cooking, no-cleaning lifestyle and doesn’t know how much she spends on her household staff. Is that why Lisa Wu Hartwell said “you hear crickets” as DeShawn struggled to answer Andy’s other question. We want to know how much DeShawn spent on those Hilary Duff chompers -they are definitely not God given!
Race Relations: Nene calls Kim out on her “chicken” comment from episode six. We called Kim out on that one too!! That felt way too racial and we saw that smirk on Kim’s face when she said it. Kim defends herself with that tired old excuse of “Half of my friends are black.”
The Sixth Housewife: Dwight Eubanks is declared the sixth Housewife! He is in full weave regalia as he joins the women and seats himself in between Sheree and Kim then proceeds to mock them by fawning over them and saying, “Oh, you’re so pretty.” So what does Dwight think of all the catfighting? “Très, très, trèsdèclassè,” and what does he think about his sexuality, “I never wanted to be a woman, I love my toolbox.” And we love you, Dwight!
Apparently when the women of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Atlanta aren’t buying designer clothes or feuding, they are planning fundraisers and get-togethers with cute names like “Big Hat Luncheon” and “Sunset Barbeque.”
Here are Blindie’s top ten moments from the Housewives’ “Dream A Little Nightmare” episode:
Sheree Whitfield, Kim Zolciak and their girlfriends Cori and Allison take a boat out on the manmade Lake Lanier and almost get stranded on the island when they can’t start up the boat’s engine. Thankfully, before the show can turn into a Gilligan episode Cori realizes that she had the engine in neutral!
Sheree is fulfilling her childhood dream and “God-given gift” of becoming a fashion designer by having everyone else do the work while she gives orders. But you have to feel bad for Sheree when her sample designs turn out worse that a losing Project Runway outfit.
Nene Leakes holds a Big Hat Luncheon fundraiser for her newly established Twisted Hearts foundation for battered women and talks about a past relationship that involved physical and sexual abuse. We hope DeShawn Snow was taking notes because Nene’s fundraiser pulled in $19,200 and didn’t involve flashy diamonds or pomp and circumstance.
It’s hilarious when Nene accuses DeShawn Snow of not knowing how to cut a lemon or even find the knives to cut it. Hello? That’s why she has an estate manager, a chef, and a personal assistant.
Eternal party planner DeShawn invites all the women to a “sunset barbeque” to help “clear the air” between the feuding Nene, Kim and Sheree. We love that Nene swears she will always “tell it like it is” and that she is not going to pretend to like any one of “those bitches!”
Kim’s excuse for not attending DeShawn’s barbeque is “I don’t wanna sit around with Nene and….eat chicken.” If Kim didn’t fawn over black people so much and she wasn’t referring to a barbeque that was probably serving chicken, we would find that remark racially charged…but still funny.
Dwight Eubanks is back!! He accompanies Nene for a pedicure, orders a triple martini and declares “you never seen a man’s feet this pretty!” Then proclaims “don’t I look good for 50!” And reveals his secret is sex 3 times a day. “I can show you better than I can tell you!” he exclaims. Someone please give this man his own show!
Sheree invites her ex-husband Bob Whitfield to her She by Sheree fashion party even though she claims he tried to hold her down and was not the type of husband that supported her interests. Maybe Bob wanted to see how his potential seven-figure divorce settlement would be spent, after all Sheree did say she spent a whopping 100K of her own money on the fashion line. Geez, even Gossip Girl’s Jenny Humphrey knows how to get investors to launch a fashion line!
Ed Hartwell comes out of rehab training and is planning to play for the Oakland Raiders, which devastates his wife Lisa Wu because they won’t be able to spend everyday together.
Nene receives her paternity DNA results in a letter and discovers that Curtis, the man she thought was her father for so many years, is not her real father. Bravo couldn’t have written a better plot twist!
P.S. Project Runway’s Mychael Knight is featured in the next episode!
It’s a game of best friend musical chairs as Kim Zolciak swaps Nene Leakes for Sheree Whitfield and Nene replaces Kim with DeShawn Snow.
Kim finally sings a note as she follows her dreams of being a country music star, while Nene folllows DeShawn’s charitable lead and starts her own foundation for women of domestic abuse.
And behind all of the music, there’s the usual drama and delusions of grandeur, but much to our dismay no Dwight Eubanks!
Here are Blindie’s top ten moments:
Nene takes Sheree to her Botox appopintment, which she has done every 6 months since she was 24. Then doctor confirms Kim’s “black don’t crack” revelationby telling her that black people have a natural skin protectant, and a built in sun screen.
Kim tells her vocal coach Jan that she’s been smoking for 15 years! And since Kim claims that she’s 29, that means she started smoking at 14!
Kim’s vocal coach tells her she doesn’t know the ABCs of singing and Kim shrugs “I don’t need to, I’m a singer” and even claims that people have told her she sounds like Cher!
Kim sings in the recording studio that pop godesses Madonna, Gwen Stefani and Stevie Nicks. All we can say is, the godesses must be angry right about now.
Kim “eews” and turns up her nose at the fresh guacamole being prepared in a molcajete (a lava stone bowl) at Rosa Mexicana claiming it’s not sanitary. Wait, how old is she again?
As the women try on clothes Kim declares “I don’t wear panties!”
Sheree tells Kim that Nene has been talking about her all around town and their friendship grows stronger. And Nene thinks Sheree is manipulating “poor little Kim” because her “wig is squeezing her brain”!
“Nene’s got to go!” Sheree declares and tells Kim that Nene is ” a wannabe” and “a hater,” to which Kim says “let your haters be a motivators.” Wow, she can’t sing, but she sure can rhyme!
Nene starts a charitable foundation of her own -Twisted Hearts, for women of domestic abuse, and plans a “Battered But Not Broken” fundraiser brunch with a sunday church hat theme.
Nene learns from DeShawn’s million dollar gala mistake and sets her fundraising goal at a realistic $20,000 and plans to sell tickets instead of inviting everyone for free.
After watching a few episodes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Blindie quickly realized the real gem of the show isn’t any of the overpriced baubles that Big Poppa buys for Kim Zolciak, it is Nene Leakes’ “gay boyfriend” Dwight Eubanks.
The dapper hair stylist can be seen on the Bravo series warning Nene of “plastic people,” helping Nene’s son Brice add color to his wardrobe, and accurately predicting that the guests at DeShawn Snow’s gala would eat all her food and drink all the liquor and “not pay for nothin’.”
When Eubanks isn’t bestowing words of wisdom to rich Housewives he can be found at The Purple Door hair salon in Atlanta, which he owns and operates.
The salon also serves as the backdrop for a new reality show starring the style maven, Behind The Purple Door.
Blindie stumbled upon the trailer for Purple Door on Youtube and we are relishing the clips of Eubanks’ employees describing him as “extra” and “grand,” and Eubanks’ self-proclamation of “I’m just international.”
We’re assuming the show hasn’t been picked up by a network yet, and we are eagerly waiting for its and Mr. Eubanks’ big debut.
Just when you thought Kim Zolciak couldn’t make any more uncomfortable comments about race, Lisa Wu Hartwell couldn’t get any perkier, and the word jewelry couldn’t be mispronounced as jury for the umpteenth time! Yeah, it all happens again and then some, on the latest episode of Bravo’s Housewives.
Here are Blindie’s top ten moments:
Kim all of a sudden “can’t handle the drama with Nene” and cozies up to Sheree Whitfield, gushing over her and callling her beautiful every chance she gets! And what does Nene Leakes think: “I can’t stand fake ass girls!” she declares.
Lisa Wu hosts a trunk show for her jewelry line Wu Girls, sits for a photo shoot for the line, and even hosts a jewelry-making night. Maybe she should scrap the jewelry and just bottle her energy and sell that! Especially since expert jeweler Steven Zale (not to be confused with Zale Jewelers) thinks the line is worthy of just Macys and not Saks and Bendel like Lisa had been planning.
Stylist Dwight Eubanks delights us with another appearance as Nene corrals him to help pick out a wardrobe for her college bound son Brice. When Dwight catches wind of DeShawn Snow’s huge free ticket gala he warns that people are “gonna come and eat all your food, drink all your liquor and leave and they’re not gonna pay for nothin!”
Dwight insists to Nene “I am a brotha” and threatens to prove it by disrobing!
Kim tells Sheree her son looks like O.J. Simpson!! As if that were a compliment -ok, maybe it would’ve been like before 1994 and before a certain murder trial. Then Sheree tries to rebuttal by insisting he looks more like Denzel Washington.
When Kim isn’t fawning over Sheree’s “beauty” she is fetishizing over black women. “African Americans age so much better…I dont’ know what it is…it’s their natural oils…it’s someting I just want.”
Kim muses over the burden of being beautiful with Sheree. “Can you imagine not being beautiful?,” she wonders, and even comes to the conclusion that “bitch means beautiful.”
As Sheree gets ready for DeShawn’s gala she declares, “I am fashion, I have impeccable taste and I will be the best dressed tonight!” Then she arrives at the party in a floor length fur coat and finds out there’s no coat check. “What am I supposed to do with my fur? Hang it over a chair?” Hello? A fur in Atlanta? It’s called Hot-lanta, not Siberia-lanta!
DeShawn’s Night of a Thousand Stars gala goes off with more than a hitch. The auction is a disaster as no one bids or even pays attention to the auctioneers! DeShawn breaks down in tears and complains “I would never get invited to something for charity and not buy anything – that’s just tacky to me!”
DeShawn’s diamond gala costs a grand total of $30,000 and pulled in only $10,000 for her charity! It’s a good thing Kim, err Big Poppa bought that $14,800 cuff bracelet.
Stop watching your 401k lose value and switch off that news anchor blabbing about some silly financial bailout, because it’s time to see how The Real Housewives are coping.
Isn’t it refreshing to see people spending money like water and stressing over petty things during these economic hard times?
Here are Blindie’s favorite moments from episode two of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Atlanta:
It was just a tad bit ironic that hair stylist Dwight Eubanks warned Nene Leakes about the “plastic” people, you know considering his less-than-natural looking face. Not that we don’t love it! The work is impeccable!
Kim Zolciak throws an $18,000 birthday party for her 11 year-old daughter Brielle, complete with a stretch Hummer ride, a sleep-over at the Inter-Continental hotel, a fashion show, and a ton of gifts including a $1,6000 Louis Vuitton handbag! And then Kim has to pull her daughter aside and tell her to be appreciative!
Sheree Whitfield has a shoe stylist who delivers shoes to her house! He also estimates that Sheree has at least a 1,000 pairs of shoes already!
We love that Sheree Whitfield’s soon-to-be ex-husband Bob Whitfield clearly does not want to be on camera, as he comes to pick up his kids for a weekend visit and stays in the car outside the house honking the horn.
Sheree reveals the “lump sum” figure she is waiting for in her divorce settlement is seven figures! That’s in the millions people!
DeShawn Snow is still trying to find an estate manager because she is soooo “particular.” We love that she was impressed with the woman who researched her beforehand on the internet!
Lisa’s husband Ed Hartwell not only tag teams his wife in a sales meeting for their real estate business, he also does some grocery shopping, and cooks chicken soup when Lisa gets sick! And did we see him spoon feed her?! We’ll take a doting husband over a designer bag any day!
After Nene was left off the guest list at Sheree’s party in the previous episode, she takes the high road and puts the whole “misunderstanding” behind her. She even hugs and kisses Sheree and compliments her hair! And just when we thought NeNe was losing her edge, she promises to “put [Sheree] back in her place” if it happens again.