Gossip Girl Watch: Chuck Has Eyes Wide Shut And Dan Is Hot For Teacher
Is Gossip Girl jumping the shark? A teacher-student romance and an “Eyes Wide Shut” storyline in one episode?! These kids aren’t even in college, let alone the big bad world of finance and they’re already embroiled in scandals.
Here are Blindie’s over-the-top ten moments moments of Gossip Girl‘s “Carnal Knowledge” episode:
- Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) gets detention! We should’ve known this episode was gonna be a shocker when the Queen Bee actually gets punished. Well, at least she made Dorota (Zuzanna Szadkowski) do all the work.
- Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) wakes up in a hotel room with a strange tattoo on his arm, and flashbacks of a night of debauchery reminiscent of Stanley Kubrick’s last film “Eyes Wide Shut.” All obvious questions aside, but does Chuck even go to school anymore?
- Does anyone else think the english teacher Rachel Carr (Laura Breckenridge) looks like Shannon Doherty (from the original 90210 years)?
- That awesome dialogue that keeps us coming back for more: “Is a scandal still a scandal if you can’t text about it?” Hazel (Dreama Walker) complains when their cell phones are confiscated at school; “Talk about the filthy rich,” Vanessa Abrams (Jessica Szohr) says when she sees Chuck in his apres-party unkemptness; “I can’t believe we’re here on a Saturday evening, that’s a lot of cancelled retstaurant reservations,” Lily van der Woodsen (Kelly Rutherford) laments when she has to attend an emergency parent meeting at the school.
- We love when Blair compared Dan and Ms. Carr to that infamous teacher who had an affair with her student, Mary Kay Letourneau!
- Blair’s plan to take down the english teacher backfires and she faces expulsion for spreading a rumor about Dan Humphrey getting it on with Ms. Carr.
- Rumor starts to become truth when Dan meets with the english teacher at a dimly lit cafe. Really? Who does that? Like they couldn’t talk at school?
- We love how Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively) is quick to sell Dan up the river as soon as she sees him barely touching Ms. Carr for like a split second. Blair snaps a photo on her cell phone and uses it to bail Blair out of her lies so she won’t have to go to Oberlin!
- Chuck goes on a wild goose chase for the mysterious masked woman who pleasured him the previous night and finds out his father was involved in a secret gentleman’s club. We’re not sure where this is going but since the woman has already turned up missing it’s definitely gonna be scandalous and shocking and age-inappropriate!
- Dan and Serena are splitsville again! And Dan’s already jumped into bed with the english teacher, or should we say the english teacher has already jumped his bones. Too bad the dean of Constance Billard was about to call and offer Ms. Carr her job back!